When I tell people I’m 24 with four kids, reactions are usually a mix of surprise and admiration. Everyone has a unique and individualized journey through this life, and this is mine. Since I could write, I have loved to journal. This is my space on the internet where I can share stories, document memories, and “journal.”
Becoming a mother at a young age was something I had always wanted. My mom was 19 when she had me, and growing up with a young mom (and dad) was the dream. They were young and healthy enough to stay athletic with us and always felt relatable. I saw the highs and lows and decided the lifelong highs far outweighed the temporary lows.
My journey into motherhood began at 18. My home life was too restrictive. Eager to get away at any cost, I found myself in a relationship under 18, which influenced my life in a very negative way very quickly. I struggled with addiction, and it was out of control by the age of 18, which is when I got pregnant with my first son. It forced me into sobriety; I swapped my substance abuse with sugar. lol.
During my pregnancy, I reconnected with my family, and my mom and I became close again. My life in all aspects, other than my relationship, improved more than I ever would have thought possible over those 9 months.
My first experience of childbirth is its own story. My son came into my life to show me the powerful love of a mother. His birth and his being really symbolize challenge in my life. As we all know, with challenge always comes reward.
Shortly after his arrival, I escaped my toxic relationship and found love. I moved to San Luis Obispo with my son, and my life was forever changed. Starting in 2020, the year my parents divorced and I went through my own divorce, through 2024, I faced more challenges than I could have ever imagined. Death, moving across the ocean, homelessness, back-to-back pregnancies, births, isolation, heartbreak, custody battles, sickness, injury, the overwhelming feeling of floating, having no place, no home, and being in a state of constant discomfort. There has been beauty through it all, but it has all been Saturn-tinted. Lessons and hardship.
I had my first daughter, Aryetta, in 2021 during COVID. Also its own story. I had my second son, Hoku, in 2022 in the Santa Cruz mountains, my first free-birth. I had my third son, Willie, in San Luis Obispo, my second free-birth. All beautiful, symbolic, faithful stories and experiences.
My faith is something I keep private; it has no form. I don’t identify with any singular organization or religious group. I have incredibly strong faith and, therefore, don’t struggle with worry. Throughout everything, it has been repeatedly proven to me. I am always protected. I am always safe. I am always provided for. I am always loved. I am always in the right place at the right time. True faith means to live without fear. I have gained true peace of mind. I have gained true faith. I have gained true fulfillment. I have gained true love.
xoxo
SKSH